Sex Sin & Zen: Yet another Review of Brad Warner's new book! It's new! It's Shiny!

It took me longer this time around, but another Brad Warner book is in the bag, so to speak. It was a good read as always. I enjoyed his juvenile humor and his potty-mouth. This book was not a retread. It was new and different and…ok some ideas are the same, but it’s a zen book from a zen teacher. You have to realize that that Brad or any other teacher worth their salt is going to keep smacking you with the same stick over and over until you get it or at least until you bother to sit and realize it for yourself.

 

This was Brad’s longest book, clocking in at 274 pages & topping Sit Down & Shut Up by about 25 pages.  It was also a new angle for Brad. It’s not nearly as narrative as his past books. Instead he focuses almost exclusively on sexual interaction, as the title suggests. No more Ultraman or stories about Japan or digs at certain members of Maezumi Roshi’s lineage, but that’s OK. That stuff is great but it just wasn’t at home in this new book.

 

The amazing thing about this book is how full of dharma it is. There’s a lot of teaching done here and I really appreciate that.  There’s lots of Dogen stuff. I dig Dogen and Brad makes his stuff relatable to just about any topic. Brad’s depth of study is apparent, he’s read a lot from the Dhammapada to Shobogenzo.

 

Some highlights:

 

Brad points out over and over throughout the book that any concept of sin that we find in Buddhism, we brought to the party.

 

The interview with Nina Hartley was good. I’m not going to quote from it, but suffice it to say she has a different view on sexuality and marriage than most Americans raised with even a nominal Christian background. I thought a lot of what she said was very applicable to Buddhist practice and the precept of not misusing sexuality. Her views (and Brad’s) are very spot on with my own regarding this.

 

He also talks about monogamy a lot. Brad’s always been a big supporter of monogamy and honestly so am I. It’s the best situation for raising children and it can be the least stressful type of relationship if communication is good. Brad doesn’t back down from this stance, but he does clarify that it might not be the best situation for everyone and while pair-bonding does make great evolutionary sense (see previous statement) monogamy creates a lot of artificial restrictions that can cause stress, and thus dukkha, for the partners involved.

 

I like Brad’s chapters on the sexual angles on Buddhist concepts. They make a lot a of sense to me and they’re funny. They also provide practical advice on aspects of the Buddhadharma as they are applied to an area of life that we all have to (if not want to) deal with on a nearly daily basis.

 

Who should read this book: Questioning Questioners, anyone interested in Buddhism, Zen Practitioners, Fans of Brad Warner, people who want to be responsible about their sexual interactions

 

Who should avoid this book: Those attached to the Buddhadarma, Those who can’t take a potty-mouth and juvenile humor, my mother (but not my Zen mother she already read it)

 

If I had to grade this book 1-10: 8.5 – It does give lots of practical Buddhist advice. Brad sometimes goes overboard with iconoclast motif, even if that is who he is it can bit trying at times. I’d recommend reading it even if the sex thing isn’t important to you. There’s loads of Dharmic goodness to be had in this book.

 

Gassho.

 

Compassion begins with...Me?

Ok, I loathe myself.

 

This might be clear from some of my earlier posts. I've dealt with it in various ways throughout my life. The main one is food. Luckily, I've never been much of a drinker. I dabbled in other things when I was young. I smoked cigarettes for the better part of a decade.

 

My main method of dealing with my own extreme self-loathing has been escapism. I read fantasy and sci-fi voraciously. I played LARP and table-top RPG games. I played on-line MMORPG's. You named I wasted time on it. Life sucked so instead of improving what I had I just spent my time in fantasy worlds.

 

Now I want to confront and face my self. The self which does and does not exist. I once had confidence in some things but I've lost whatever I had. All I have left is knowledge, which I cling to.

 

You would think this is good having very little sense of self. However, facing one's self in Zazen requires bravery. You might not think so, but it does. When I'm sitting all my thoughts of self-loathing rise to the top like smelly, fetid cream. I try to let them pass by and sometimes I do but they still leave me feeling agitated, so maybe I'm not as successful as I would hope.

 

Zazen is scary.

 

Mara is me. 

 

How do I feel compassionate towards myself? How can I love myself as I love my wife as I love my son as I Iove, respect, and feel compassion for pretty much everyone, but not me.

 

I'm not whining. I'm not looking for pity. I'm just trying to figure this out. 

 

Gassho.    

A crappy haiku!

I just wrote a haiku. It sucks but I like it:

 

I like wood pencils.

Writing is more visceral.
Writing is zazen.

 

I don't know why I wanted to write but there it is.

Is Zazen Meditation?

At first glance this seems like an obvious answer.

 

Of course zazen is meditation!

 

I'm reading Sex, Sin & Zen,  Brad Warner's new book. Of all the crazy stuff that Brad has talked about so far (I'm about 100 pages in) the strangest to me was when he posited the idea that Zazen is not meditation.

 

Before anyone gets up in arms, I suggest you go read the book.

 

I'm not the type of guy who uses post it notes when I read, though now that I'm trying to write decent reviews of books, maybe I should start.

 

So to paraphrase Brad, he says that meditation whether Vispassana or Metta or what-have-you all ahve a goal in mind some kind of point. Zazen lacks this. To try to gain something by zazen practice you defeat the purpose of zazen practice. Meditation is all about gaining control or calmness or peace or maybe even enlightenment.

 

Zazen is nothing. It's boring. It's jsut sitting there. There are practices that beginners sometimes do to help train thei minds for shikentaza (literally just sitting) but these aren't something that are ment for long-term practice. I still count breaths if my mind is especially turbulent or I haven't been getting to the cusion regualrly, but most of the time it's jsut sitting and watching my thoughts and a weird spot on my wall.

 

So is Zazen meditation? Maybe maybe not. Brad thinks not, but he isn't definitive, as Zen teachers never are, or at least never should be. Opinions too strongly held become attachments. Plus, that would be an extreme view and thus not on the Middle Way

 

Gassho.

woah.

Poor Little Me and my Inconsistant Practice

I don't feel well.

 

I feel like a jerk again.

 

I feel like I have upset someone whom I respect.

I feel like my blog isn't read. I feel like no one cares if I exist or cease to exist.

 

I feel fat.

 

I feel like a poor Buddhist.

 

I feel sorry for myself.

 

Why do I feel this way?

 

Grasping.

 

I want to feel GOOD.

 

I want to be nice and be perceived as nice.

 

I want people to like especially people I like and respect.

 

I want people to read my blog.

 

I want to feel loved.

 

I want to be thin and healthy.

 

I want to to NOT feel sorry for myself.

 

So I crave these things. As I crave, I create desire and when these desires are not met, I experience dukkha.

 

The answer is simple, but I can't face it.

 

The answer is profound, but I can't understand.

 

I read books. I sit sometimes, but not everyday. I have faith in the path.

 

One day the answer will be apparent and it will have been there all along.

 

Life is the ultimate koan.

 

Gassho.

Engaged Buddhism and Dualistic Thought

There's an old saying:

 

In life, we wear a lot of hats.

 

This really isn't true. While we may think we create distinct differnt personalities and reactions for differnt functions in our life this is a delusion.

 

There is no such thing as Socially Engaged Buddhism. You are who you are and you do what you do.

 

Creating a justification isn't necessary. If your behavior follows your own ethcial guidelines, then you'll be at peace.

 

Socially Engaged Buddhism is a label. It's a label that doesn't exist.

 

Furthermore, it's acknowledging a divide that is an illusion. It's practitioners subscribe to a philosphy of a "need for change." That's an us v. them situation and it invokes the grasping, dualistic mind.

 

Basically, it's creating dukkha and further samsara instead of working to end dukkha and escape Samsara.

Lots of other people have written about this recently:

 

John at Point of Contact

 

Kyle at Reformed Buddhist 1 & 2

 

Adam at Fly Like a Crow.

 

Nathan at Dangerous Harvests 1  & 2

 

Maia at Jizo Chronicles
 

I'm sure there are more.

 

I respect what is being done. I respect that motivations that lead to the work of these people. I share the motivation. I understand that the people doing this work take their Bodhisatva Vow very seriously.

 

However, is it necessary to conflate Buddhism with Activism?

 

Nope. In fact, to do so implies that Buddhism has a political agenda and is only for those who share the views of these practitioners.

 

Be compassionate be informed by your Practice, but don't use your Practice as a Brand.

 

Buddhism isn't Greenpeace or PETA or the NRA.

 

Gassho.

Mindful Entertainment

I've noticed lately that so many of my friends & colleagues spend hours and hours entertaining themselves.

 

I question when they have time, myself!

 

However, beyond the question of where the time for such comes from I've been thinking about how I would like to spend my time. I sometimes consider video games. I sued to spend hours and hours on such things. I still enjoy a good story and I have a life-long love-affair with pointy-eared man in green, but I don''t find myself drawn to them as I once did. I'm even questioning the hoops I'll have to jump through to get the new one when it comes out later this year (buy a wii for one), but I digress.

 

I've found that more and more I'm mindful of how I spend time. This began at work because I have a tendency to goof off even when there's work to be done. I'm so use to excelling at anything I do that I procrastinate with the understanding that I'll power through the work in the last hour of the day. I've notice that this doesn't happen so much anymore and I began to pay more attention to how I spend my time throughout the day.

 

This naturally led to higher attention levels at home. How do I spend my evenings? Well 40% of it is spent wrangling my son, making sure he's bathed and has his homework done and gets into bed at a reasonable hour. About 55% of my evening is spent cooking, eating dinner, making lunches, putting away food and cleaning up the kitchen. The other 5% varies night to night. I try to sit zazen with the Online Meditation Crew at 9 PM, but I sometimes miss it with kp duty running over. Other than that I might spend 30 minutes reading blogs or noodling on Facebook and twitter and generally reading Buddhist/random schtuff on-line. I might spend 10-20 minutes reading my book du jour, right now that's Mindful Eating by Dr. Jan Chozen Bays.

 

My wife has long been a critic of TV. She insisted that we not have a TV in our bedroom, and I agreed. I think it's improved our marriage in some ways.

 

There will be movies, TV, and video games in our future. It's ok to have these things. The key is practice mindfulness. What would be the best use of your time? Playing through a game with your son for 30 minutes probably isn't going to hurt him or you, so long as you are aware of the time that passes and present in the moment that it does.

 

Gassho.

The War of 1812

War Of 1812 by Three Dead Trolls In A Baggie  
Download now or listen on posterous

Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie - The War of 1812.mp3 (3282 KB)

ok so it's not about Buddhism at all. I've been looking for a copy of this song for years. Lately I've been reminded of a certain Canadian who married my favorite Buddhist Squirrel. (The Reformed Buddhist)

Anyways... enjoy the 3 Dead Trolls in a Baggie.

The Buddhist Creed

This is mostly a re-post of John’s post over at Point of Contact.

However I’m reposting it for a reason. My last post wa about the Triple Gem as I understand it. One commenter pointed out that it was from a Mahayana stand-point, and I don’t disagree with that.  In my comment back I think I let a little ego creep in and for that I’m sorry, Josh.

I will never be Thervadan practitioner . For one, I am not sure that they consider the laity practitioners at all. I see major issues with the Theravada in its rigidity and its extremely hierarchal system. I truly feel that it is fundamentally incompatible with the democratic mindset most Westerners are born with.

Be that as it may, Theravadan practitioners are Buddhists and despite the fact that I have not yet received the sixteen Bodhisattva precepts, I still believe in them and one of these is not to speak ill of other Buddhists. I think I may have broken this precept yesterday. 

In the spirit of Ecumenical Unity I present the following:

The Basic Points Unifying the Theravāda and the Mahāyāna is a Buddhist ecumenical statement created by the World Buddhist Sangha Council (WBSC), where the Ven. Walpola Rahula presented a concise formula that presented a unification of all Buddhist traditions.

1.       Whatever our sects, denominations or systems, as Buddhists we all accept the Buddha as our guide who gave us the Teaching.

2.       We all take refuge in the Triple Jewel: the Buddha, our Teacher; the Dhamma, his teaching; and the Sangha, the Community of holy ones. In other words, we take refuge in the Teacher, the Teaching and the Taught.

3.       Whether Theravāda or Mahāyāna, we do not believe that this world is created and ruled by a god at his will.

4.       Following the example of the Buddha, our Teacher, who is embodiment of Great Compassion (mahākaruṇa) and Great Wisdom (mahāprajñā), we consider that the purpose of life is to develop compassion for all living beings without discrimination and to work for their good, happiness and peace; and to develop wisdom leading to the realization of Ultimate Truth.

5.       We accept the Four Noble Truths taught by the Buddha, namely, Dukkha, the fact that our existence in this world is in predicament, is impermanent, imperfect, unsatisfactory, full of conflict; Samudaya, the fact that this state of affairs is due to our egoistic selfishness based on the false idea of self; Nirodha, the fact that there is definitely the possibility of deliverance, liberation, freedom from this predicament by the total eradication of the egoistic selfishness; and Magga, the fact that this liberation can be achieved through the Middle Path which is eight-fold, leading to the perfection of ethical conduct (sila), mental discipline (samadhi) and wisdom (panna).

6.       We accept the universal law of cause and effect taught in the Paṭiccasamuppada(Skt. pratītyasamutpada; Conditioned Genesis or Dependent Origination), and accordingly we accept that everything is relative, interdependent and interrelated and nothing is absolute, permanent and everlasting in this universe.

7.       We understand, according to the teaching of the Buddha, that all conditioned things (samkhara) are impermanent (anicca) and imperfect and unsatisfactory (dukkha), and all conditioned and unconditioned things (dhamma) are without self (anatta).

8.       We accept the Thirty-seven Qualities conducive to Enlightenment (bodhipakkhiyadhamma) as different aspects of the Path taught by the Buddha leading to Enlightenment.  [For a better explaination of the 37 Qualities check out "Thing Pertaining to Bodhi: The Thirty-Seven Aids to Enlightenment" by Sheng Yen]

9.       There are three ways of attaining Bodhi or Enlightenment according to the ability and capacity of each individual: namely, as a Sravaka (disciple), as a Pratyekabuddha (Individual Buddha) and as a Samyaksambuddha (Perfectly and Fully Enlightened Buddha). We accept it as the highest, noblest and most heroic to follow the career of a Boddhisattva and to become a Samyksambuddha in order to save others. But these three states are on the same Path, not on different paths. In fact, the Sandhinirmocana-sutra, a well-known important Mahayana sutra, clearly and emphatically says that those who follow the line of Śrāvakayāna (Vehicle of Disciples) or the line of Pratyekabuddha-yana (Vehicle of Individual Buddhas) or the line of Tathagatas (Mahayana) attain the supreme Nirvana by the same Path, and that for all of them there is only one Path of Purification (visuddhi-marga) and only one Purification (visuddhi) and no second one, and that they are not different paths and different purifications, and that Sravakayana and Mahayana constitute One Vehicle One Yana (ekayana) and not distinct and different vehicles or yanas.

10.    We admit that in different countries there are differences with regard to the ways of life of Buddhist monks, popular Buddhist beliefs and practices, rites and rituals, ceremonies, customs and habits. These external forms and expressions should not be confused with the essential teachings of the Buddha.

 

Gassho.

The Triple Gem is a Three-Legged Stool

Most Buddhist converts are turning away from Christianity. As such they tend to avoid anything that looks like Christianity. This means organized worship services as well as rituals in general.

I can't tell how often I see someone write on-line that they are interested in Buddhism without religious trappings. hmmm. That doesn't sound much like Buddhism to me, but if it suits you go for it.

When Buddhists Take Refuge, it's much like Christian Baptism. It's signaling to the world that you are indeed a follower of the Middle Way and the teaching given to us by the Shakyamuni Buddha.

What do we take Refuge in?

The Buddha: The obvious relative truth here is that we take Refuge in the person that was our first teacher. However, he's dead so in that sense, WTF? It goes deeper than just the historical Buddha. We take refuge in our own Buddha Nature in the thread f pure enlightened being that lives within each of that binds us all together with all sentient life and the rocks and the sky and the sea as well. When we take Refuge in the Buddha we take Refuge in the Divinity of all things great and small.

The Dharma: The teachings of the historical Buddha are the obvious answer here. Some strict Theravadan scholars would conted that that is the only possible answer. However, some of the most profound Buddhist Scriptures weren't direct teachings of the Buddha. They might be framed as such but there's no logical proof that they were. Most Buddhists don't care too much what the Source is as the Dharma flows from within us. Our teachers aren't always scholars or priests and the Dharma isn't always expressed in words.

The Sangha: This, I think, is the most troublesome for Western Buddhist converts. Books are avaiable at book stores nationwide and to your doorstep from on-line retailers. However, without someone to discuss your Practice with you're missing out. Sometimes all we need are sitting buddies. Twitter and the Online Meditation Crew works well for that. There are a plethora of social networking options for baby Buddhists out there. However when it comes down to it, that's just not how we do what we do. Anyone can support your practice from the Bodhisattva that cut you off in traffic to the Arahant that dropped that paper cup that you picked up. Are these people your Sangha? In an absolute sense, yes they are. However I think you do need to form personal connections to help support your practice and give you a place to bounce ideas off of. Plus you need someone to tell you are messing up or on the right track. There's all kinds of reasons to Practice with others and all kinds of forms that a Sangha can take even virtual forms. One of mine is spread over the width and height of the whole USA. Those guys are great. We think alike, but I still need a teacher with some years on me. Someone who's been walking the path a while to set me straight. 

If YOU need someone to talk to about your practice, I'll be happy to talk with you, via e-mail, phone, skype or over a cup of coffee. I'm no expert but I'll support you if you support me and together we'll skip down the road of samsara to the place where we already are.

Gassho.

A Buddhist Take on the Politics Involved with the Park 51 Project

Buddhism and Politics? Sigh

 

I’m not going to talk about the Park 51 Project. You know what’s happening. You’re interested or not. Other Houstonbelief Bloggers have weighed in. Check out Dr. Jill Carroll’s latest on it and then read her first post about it. You can also read a Muslim perspective on J.K. Hawaja’s blog here.

 

Rather I’m going to talk about politics. Well sort of. Just read on.

 

I don’t like politics anymore. I don’t think I’m right or that anyone else is wrong. Beliefs are dangerous things that lead to divisive hatred.

 

It almost makes me sympathetic to people who accuse Buddhist Practitioners of being Nihilists. In a way, they’re right. Most of us have ideas about spiritual things but beliefs??

 

Woah.

 

Believe is a strong word and it leads to dogma and dogma leads to ego. How so? Group ego is the most tenacious ego of all because it lives outside the mind of one person it’s reinforced and subscribed to by many people. I’m digressing a bit here but I’m trying to illustrate why I don’t like politics. It has all of these characteristics & in many ways Modern American politics has supplanted religion as the ethical system that people are most familiar with.

 

So keeping all this in mind, you understand that, while there are many Buddhist politicians including two in Congress right now, politics and Buddhism are not an easy relationship. Some have postulated that there is not relationship.

 

What got me thinking about all this is an article written by a Conservative writer on a site I had never visited.

 

Go read it for yourself.

 

It’s not terrible or full of nasty rhetoric (about Buddhism, Islam is a whole other story) but it does assume that Buddhism is a religion. This is a mantle that many Buddhists would rather not wear. It’s not even terribly inaccurate about the way that Buddhism as a group operates.

 

However, this is the problem. Bill Warner, the author, he makes a generalization based upon people’s choice of ethical path. I’ve met many Muslims I like respect and trust. I’ve met many Jews that I feel the same way. Most of my family is Christian and I trust and mostly like and respect them. ;)

 

Making people into a group with a heterogeneous identity is not only artificial; it’s an affront to their rights as individuals. There is no worldwide group called Islam. There’s no worldwide group called Buddhism or Christianity or anything else. Even the groups that we self assign are made up of individual reflections, we call people, of the oneness that we all are.

 

OK that last part was a belief, I suppose, I can’t verify 100% that we are all part of one universal entity that simultaneously exists and does not exist. Ha-HaHAHA!!! 

See? Everyone’s entitled to their own beliefs and I’m OK with that. Believe what you want. Just don’t get irritated with others because theirs don’t jive with yours.

 

You’re not right and they’re not wrong. I’m not right and you’re not wrong.

 

Oh and if you want to read some funny opinions on this same article check out:

 

The Reformed Buddhist, my good friend Kyle’s, take on it.

 

Also read the short and to the point opinion of John Papas, who’s don guest posts here, of Zen Dirt Zen Dust on his Posterous blog:  Point of Contact Subtle ~ Dharma Mouth Punch

 

Oh and if you’re thinking that you got cheated because I never talked about the Park 51 Project. Go read the links and you will see that’s what I’ve been talking about the whole time.

 

J

 

As always, thanks for reading.

 

Gassho,

 

 

 (For those of you reading on my Posterous Network this is one of those posts syndicated from the Houstonbelief.com site)

 

WTF is wrong with me?!

I have a serious mindfulness problem. It’s so weird that I spend so much time talking about and writing about it.

Yet I spend so little time practicing it. I’m aware of my lack of mindfulness. I always tell myself: next time I’ll be more mindful.

What makes me lose my cool? Let’s see: My son, my wife, my mother-in-law customers, co-workers, donuts, other drivers, my body... This list could really go on to include everything in my life.

At some point nearly everything makes me lose it. 

What is it? Not sure, but I never have it, it seems. 

And then, I react: Usually, I’m sad. I don’t want to hurt anyone or anything, really. I like everyone and everything and I never want to be the cause of strife or anyone’s suffering.

What can I do at this point? 

Lots of teachers have written that being aware of my issue is mindful. It doesn’t feel mindful. I feel like a great big jerk.

This where faith comes in, I suppose. Well faith and the visible results of faith. I see people like Gaylyn Godwin Sensei or Maezen Miller Sensei and I know they project calm and collected demeanors, but I also know they are people just like me and they have to deal with the same crap.

Maezen, in particular, is really good about letting us know she’s human in her books and her blog she calls herself out for being herself and yet accepts herself at the same time.

I want to realize that there is nothing to attain. 

I want to believe that all five aggregates are empty. 

I want to not want.

Gassho.

Buddhist Blog Swap: The Interview Answers

Time for another Buddhist Blogger Swap. This is actually my first one on Posterous. This time we created questions that our partners generously answered. My partner was my friend Kyle from The Reformed Buddhist. Check out Precious Metal later today for the list of Participants.

 
1. What is your religious background prior to your conversion? Why'd you turn to Buddhism from Catholicism / agnosticism.

I had long since left the Catholic church, and up to that point in my life I was just existing, never really taking the time to examine the big questions in life. Oddly enough, I was wandering around a Borders bookstore, and the cover a book that was something like  Buddhism, Zen and Tantra caught my eye. I looked in, flipping through the pages, and came across two things that changed the direction of my life. One was the four noble truths, which resonated with me greatly at that point in my life. The second was a conjecture by the author that he said the Buddha said most beings aren't awake to true reality; almost like it was a dare for me to explore more.

2. Do you fell that you have converted or are still a Catholic /agnostic with a different viewpoint?

Nope, I'm converted, albeit in a reformed manner than most of my Buddhist counterparts.

3. What is your practice and how did you come to it?

I just sit these days, not much more. With the lack of any teacher, I now just attempt to sit bringing myself back to the breathe.

4. Do you feel that your practice has helped you though the rough spots in your life? How so?

Yes, it has taught me how to detach and let go, not to hold on so hard to the things that hurt me. Now, just letting go of the things that give me pleasure.....that I am still working on.

5. What is your position on engaged Buddhism? How far is too far?

Engaged, yes in so far as it is a part of ones life. Engaged as in a political movement, no as in that just ends up being another thing we grasp too.

6. Should we as "Second Generation" Buddhists be more active in the promotion of Buddhism? Again where do we draw the line or should a line be drawn at all?

At first, I would have said yes about the promotion bit, but as I have gotten older, I realize how difficult it is for people to come to grips with the teachings without putting their own slant on it, making it out to be something it isn't. Call me jaded I'd guess.

7. How do feel about fusion Buddhists such as Christian Buddhists or Jewish Buddhists? Is this a legitimate practice?

Yes, Buddhism never asks one to relinquish their beliefs. Indeed, we all have beliefs, just as powerful as religious beliefs when we begin practice. What those beliefs are hardly makes a difference when we learn to just sit with things as they are.

8. If there is one issue you feel needs addressing in the Western Buddhist Sangha, if there is such a thing, what do you think it is?

Expansion. We need to find ways to get more teachers and sanghas out there. Right now, there are too many people practicing alone, with no guidance. This is very pressing I think.


9. You've professed a tendency towards Zen Practice? Which flavor, and why?

Yes, Zen. Because it cuts through the bullshit of extra bits and gets one right into being the practice. First Rinzai, but lately just a Soto flavor, since Koans are impossible to practice without a teacher.

10. How do you feel that practice has shaped your marriage?

It has led to excellent discussions and a great understanding of expectations of what a marriage should be. I feel that I am a better husband because of my practice, but I have a long way to go.!

Thanks, Kyle!

Gassho.