The calling

There is something weird I’ve always carried with me. I’ve had it as
long as I can remember. I’ve hated it, poured derision on it and tried
to suppress it.

When I was a teen our minister told me on multiple occasions that he
thought I should become a minister. I considered it. I really did.
However, my faith has never been strong. I didn’t believe in the
tenants of Christianity and how those tenants have been twisted to
meet the agendas of various men throughout history from Popes to Kings
to the charismatic neo-clerics of the 21st century mega churches.

I’m fairly certain my conception of God never included God the Father
and my belief in Christ the son, was not strong. There were too many
inconsistencies and not enough written records or proof. I’ve always
felt the need for that, proof. I see now that proof doesn’t always
come from Science and truth shouldn’t necessarily be something you can
wrap your mind around. That’s not to say that I believe in some Father
in Heaven and the pearly gates and all that anthropomorphic
categorization and mythologized version of the ineffable.

Regardless, I’ve long felt as if something was tugging at me.
Something unnamable and unknowable seems to be pushing me towards
something. I’ve not been receptive, as I said above. As my practice
deepens, I’ve noticed it’s getting stronger. As my intellectual
comfort level has risen, so too has my absolute trust and faith in the
Path. It’s ineffable. It’s not ego.

I certainly don’t WANT to commit to teaching the Dharma. It’s just not
that fun. “My life” will never be my own, although, if I accept the
truth of nonduality, it never was.

So my wife and I took refuge and received the precepts in the Chinese
Mahayana tradition.

The nudging grew more insistent. My response was to ignore it and try
to not practice. Yeah…I was inevitable drawn back to the Path, as I
knew it was right.

Went to Houston Zen Center Saturday and saw the sign-up sheet for the
Jukai (formal reception of the Bodhisatva Precepts) and I had signed
up before I ever made a conscious decision to do so.

I’m not sure what drives the calling. It’s there and I hear it and I
can’t ignore it. Call it God, Buddha Nature, the Unborn or the
Universe, but it seems to need for me to become ever more committed to
the Practice of the Buddhadharma.

I’m not going to resist any more, but neither will I seek out what
lies ahead. It will be what it will be.

In Gassho.

Can Upaya be forceful?

This isn’t about engaged Buddhism, though Upaya (skillful means)
should certainly be the standard on which you judge your own level of
engagement.

My wife and I were talking about the new Starbucks flavored instant
coffees. She said, “One day everyone will realize that it’s cheaper to
just make things Vegan.” I then went off on a tangent about farm
subsidies as I often do when we talk about why things aren’t vegan.

Meat is cheap. Dairy is cheap. Eggs are cheap. However, this isn’t
because the cost, in resources and money, is low. This is because the
government subsidizes meat, dairy eggs, & grains. You notice, how
fruit vegetables, legumes, & leafy greens aren’t mentioned here?
That’s right the US government pays farmers and ranchers high-fat, low
nutrient sources of protein and indirectly obesity, diabetes, and
skyrocketing healthcare costs.

I’m a big proponent of cutting all subsidies. None for anybody. If the
veggie and fruit production industries can make it on their own so can
everyone else. The right loves to talk about market forces. Well lets
the market force free and see what happens to the darlings of the
USDA. The USDA, by the way was created to promote the US Dairy and
Meat industries in this country. Never trust those bastards. I
digress…

Is it skillful means to cut subsidies? Would it be skillful, to FORCE
whole industries to find more skillful employment? This would man
hundreds of thousands of job conversions. That would mean chicken
farmers would have to start growing beans. Cattle ranchers would have
start raising switchgrass for fuel (It’s way better at producing
ethanol pound for pound than corn). Of course these people would be
“out of work” during the conversion and the market forces would take
years to convert the economy.

It might be more skillful to cut subsidies for meat, dairy, eggs, and
corn and enact subsidies for beans, fruit, vegetables, & leafy greens.
Then those farmers would have to change their way of life but there
would be incentives to do so, beyond compassionate ones.

Regardless, the point is that Upaya should be the guiding principle to
how we do things. I recently had a series of interactions on facebook
where someone I did not know was explaining that all things are
conditional, top someone I do know, but doing it in such a way as to
be very rude and bordering on obnoxious. Something to the tune of
“it’s all your fault.” I agree that when you realize that we all are
interconnected that everything is my fault and your fault and their
fault. These pronouns are pretty darn meaningless as they are relative
constructs we use to create relational distinctions. Big words….blah,
blah. We are the tips of the waves in one big damn ocean of the
Unborn/unconditioned universe aka Buddha nature/nirvana. OK went way
off again. My point was that all things are conditional but telling
someone that all of their problems are their fault when they aren’t
ready to accept that is not skillful means, it is jackass.

Just my two cents.

Oh wait, obligatory Vegan progaghandi: stop eating meat , dairy, and
eggs it’s bad for you and contributes to suffering for everyone even
those involved in its production, not just the animals. The only
winners are corporate agriculture machines and their shareholders. End
VP.

In Gassho.

Zen Radicals, Rebels, and Reformers: A Book Review

I request books for review from time-to-time. Then, every once in a while, some publisher will request that I do a review for them.
 
This was a real gem of a request. I really enjoyed this book.
 
The book is Zen Radicals, Rebels, and Reformers (as the picture indicates) by by Perle Besserman and Manfred Steger.
 
This seems to be a reprint of Crazy Clouds: Zen Radicals, Rebels, and Reformers published by Shamabala back in 1991.
 
Crazy Cloud was a name used by Japanese Master Ikkyu, who is featured in the book.
 
This version is being published by Wisdom. I can't tell you how much is new and how much is reprinted as I've never seen the original version. It is available used on Amazon for as little as four bucks if you are interested.
 
The book is laid out chronologically from 14th century Layman P'ang Yun, to Rinzai Zenji, Bassui, Ikkyu, Bankei, Hakuin, & it ends with 20th century masters Nyogen Senzaki and Nakagawa Soen Roshi.
 
I was disappointed that Rinzai was there but Dogen was left out. I guess the authors figured there is enough out there on Dogen Zenji, but it seems odd to include the founder of one of the major Japanese Zen sects, but not the other. Although you could make the argument that Rinzai, who was Chinese, didn't found anything and the sect is merely named for him.
 
I'm someone new to the study of historical Zen and this book is a great primer on some figures of Zen History. I can't say that these guys represent Zen well or not but the stories in the book seems to indicate that they were, in many ways, typical Zen practitioners, or they would be if they lived here, in the West, and now, in the 21st Century. At their times and places they were as the book's title tells us...Radicals, Rebels, and/or Reformers.
 
What I like most about the book is how these guys are all Zen Masters (lay or ordained) and yet they have vastly different views. Sometimes you could even say they are diametrically opposed. Zen, and many other forms of Buddhist Practice, is an intensely personal path in which every Practitioner must find the truth for himself and the differing views of the teachers in the book demonstrate that well.
 
I did find a few things wanting in the book.
 
There wasn't a theme, really. Nearly every Zen Practitioner from the first until today could in one way or another fit into one if not all of these categories. If anything the theme was Rinzai rocks and Soto sucks. I kid, but the fact remains that the authors did choose to write about more Rinzai aspected teachers as opposed to Soto practitioners.
 
A caveat for you: I am not a Zen scholar. These are just my views and shouldn't be taken as truth. If you take anyone's views as truth, you probably don't walk the Zen Path.
 
Who should read this book: New Zen practitioners with an interest in History or anyone with an interest in Buddhist History. If you have practiced for a while, you probably fall into this category, but there are whole works about most of these guys floating around. This book is good to give you an idea of whether or not it's worth reading those (sometimes MUCH) longer works.
 
Who shouldn't read this book: Non-Zenfolk might find it boring since it's all about the Zen.
 

 

In Gasso.

Hazy Moon Zen Center's Zazen Instruction

30/m/HTX & Buddhist, want to be friends?

So I recently tweeted that I need more Buddhist geek friends. I never realized what kind of response that this would get me.

 

More than a few new followers have jumped on board my twitter train, so to speak.

 

However, what I need is not something I can easily find on-line. I have friends who are on twitter and friends who are bloggers and I treasure all of these wonderful folks. It's just not what I have in mind. What I need is the third part of the triple gem: sangha.

 

Jade Buddha Temple is good; they have great monastics that know their stuff and a welcoming environment, but I feel like the outsider as so much of their services and activities center around Chinese Culture and are in Mandarin. Now I know if I just keep showing up that will get better and they will eventually accommodate me. However, Chinese Mahayana is not where my path lies. I want to teach the dharma (one day) so my Path lies in Zen in some form or other. As I have no intention of shaving my head and taking Vinaya vows. Soto Zen resonates well with me. I find Dogen's work to be not only interesting but it just plain makes sense. However, Soto Zen in this country tends to be very upper Middle Class and white. I'm the last but I don't like the Lilly whiteness of the lineage of Suzuki that I have observed thus far. It also tends to seem very inaccessible and not welcoming because of it's high level of ritual that Americans are not familiar with. I'd prefer a T-shirt and jeans kind of Zen Center, instead of everyone in their practice robes and most of them wearing rokasus.

 

Let me be clear this isn't a slam on the Houston Zen Center. It's a great place and just like the JBT if I keep going then my comfort level will increase. At least there the language and culture barrier doesn't exist as much.

 

I'm not interested in attending the Korean Zen Center here either because it is colocated with a Korean Mahayana Temple and then you run into the same issues as at JBT.

 

In the end these are all MY problems. I really just want some local people to talk about the dharma with without them saying this like that makes so much sense, but... I have friends but most of them aren't particularly interested in my Path and don't want to talk about shunyata on the phone or absolute v. relative over coffee. I do have a few Buddhist friends but I feel like I'm way too enthusiastic about crap I read/hear/think/come up with while sitting and don't want to try their patience.

 

This will be what they will be.

 

In Gassho.

Opportunities to practice

Traffic. Some days it's good. Some days it's bad. Some days I see awesomeness like a early 1980s suburban custom painted (not professionally, mind you) with this awesome orange and black hawk design.

 

Monday it was really bad. Like MOPAC in in Austin bad. Like 405 in LA bad. I wasn't angry I wasn't even irritated. I faced it with equanimity. It was traffic but it wasn't good or bad.

 

Everyday is like that day. No day is bad. No day is good. Every day just is.

 

You don't even need to decide that it's bad or that's its good. Some days can be challenging, but are they bad days? Not necessarily. That's a judgement call I'm not prepared to make anymore. When my wife asks me how work is I say work is work. I used to layer that with thick sarcasm but I've notice it starting to dissipate through no real action or decision of my own.

My formal practice is inconstant. But it does happen. I chant when I have time. I sit on the days when it fits into my schedule. I visit the HZC when I can. 

 

I take opportunities to practice when they arise. Some days they never come. Some days I pass up opportunities. Some days my practice is typing at keyboard. Some days it's sitting zazen. Some days it's driving in my car.

 

What is, is. 

 

In Gassho,

Mindful What??

So I watched Astro Boy with my son, yesterday. It was good, amazingly enough.

 

As I watched the credits roll I had a thought: "What did that say?" As this thought rolled across the void of my mind I realized that it was the first one I'd had in about 90 minutes.

 

Then the inevitable question popped up. Is this a result of practice or is it a form of practice? In other words is is possible to make "entertainment" a Practice? I know that I didn't have any thoughts during the film. However there were emotions, but that's true of zazen as well. More emotions than thoughts.

 

It's just a strange connection. This is why we all need teachers. I suppose I'll soon need to resume the search for one. Perhaps one of the Five Mountain Order will take me as a student.

 

Oh and hi! I've missed you guys. My brain has been on overload. My boss has been on vacation since Thursday before last and she won't return until this Wednesday. There's only three of us in our department and we answer phones, e-mails, and research customer issues for three primary cities and a multitude of remote locations across Texas, California, Colorado and the greater Southwest. Let's just say I've been stressed out. I'd like to say I've sat with it and been fine, but, instead, I stopped sitting and rebeled against Practice of any sort.

 

Dumb, huh? Well, only way to go is forward.

Onward and Upward.

 

In Gassho.